self portrait

No "Wagon" to Fall Off Of | Parenthood Series

This is a new series that I am really excited to share with you. Parenthood is hard, and in my attempt to bring you both the grit and grace of life with littles, I have decided to reach out to parents who share their heart about their own journey. This is real life!

This first installment is brought to you by the brave and tenacious Jocelyn Bataille. You have met her previously on the blog when I shared her birth story last year. This mama is an authentic warrior, as all mama's are, she is a support system, life giver, and life sustainer. In addition to this snippit, Jocelyn is shedding a much needed light on childhood cancer as her son was diagnosed this past fall. To follow her journey please check out her blog, Confessions of a Cancer Mom, and stay up to date with her sons journey through treatment on their Facebook page, Camden's Crusade.

Her parenthood truth is quite fitting for the Spring, enjoy:

"Every Spring I see it. The MLM company reps start in with the "get your body ready for Summer" spiels. Ok fine. But one place these spiels do not belong, is in the mind of a new and/or breastfeeding mother. This body does not need 21 days of fixing anything, thank you. It is not broken. It sustained life for 9 months. It continues to sustain that life every time my daughter needs to eat. MY BODY IS SUSTAINING HERS. I don't need my body "back" to anything. I need to fully be present in the work it takes to maintain my milk supply. If that means listening to my cravings, I will not feel guilty. Not even one bit. There is no "wagon" to fall off of here. This is motherhood. I certainly don't need a wrap to tighten or tone my tummy. Instead I'll depend on the belly laughs that work my abs, when my kids do something funny. Or the hundreds of times a day I lift one of my children. Or the 20 times a night I sit up in bed to nurse my daughter back to sleep. I don't need to look like I did in my teens. These hips widened to carry life, and I LOVE that. So when my belly spills over my pants a little bit, I smile, because without my children I would not have this body. And I'll take being a mother, over a perfect body ANY day."

Motherhood Self Portrait : Jocelyn Bataille

Motherhood Self Portrait : Jocelyn Bataille

If you are interested in sharing a contemplation or deep thought about your motherhood or fatherhood experience, send me an email:

be inspired. live boldly. love authentically.

My Motherhood | Meet Nicole Series

"You can't run from the shadow, but you can invite it to dance" - Tanya Geisler My life, at this moment, is being a mom. A terrified, confident, unsure, strong willed mom. I am determined to do and be different. Do different than my mom, and be different from everything I know from my own life experiences. Terrified of the tears my daughter has shed and will shed. Confident my heart and husband will keep me accountable to being the best wife, mother, and person. Unsure of what it all means, but determined to hold, love, and protect my child against the unreasonable darkness.

Most days I feel like I'm running in circles in this darkness, trying to find the light. The unending pressure I feel to provide and support for my family as my husband is in school and Nora is at daycare; I don't want to be judged.  Am I alone in feeling like I want to be seen, but afraid of being looked at?

I feel pressured from society and question the insanity of it all. Only to turn around and foolishly wear it as if it's in fashion. I want to  run from constantly being told no, and I'm too sensitive. So how do I move forward? How do I invite the shadows to dance with me? I want to be a better me, and teach my daughter to love and dance with the negative space that is life's white noise.

While my daughter is young I am facilitating her independence. I'm giving her space to say no, but also to declare who she is. This challenges me, frustrates me even, because she is free spirited and steadfast in her resolve (why does she have to be my mini me?!). She also surprises me and makes me laugh with her ability to stand strong in saying "No, I don't want that." No one questions her assertiveness which makes me smile and laugh at my own absurdity. If this little girl can say no, and be heard, why can't I? She doesn't question herself, her preferences, or how she will be perceived, so why should I? How is it that this tiny human of my own flesh is teaching me so much about humanity?

While I'm teaching her confidence and independence she is showing me I'm allowed the same. Her sunshine truly casts light into the darkness and drives my shadows out of hiding. She helps me see them, so now I can dance with them.

My self portrait: "Moments in Motherhood -The Negative Space"

How do you cope with your negative space to find the light?

be inspired. love authentically. live boldly.