nicoleinbold

What's in a Name

I wrote a version of this explanation a few years ago, and after some thoughts, revelations, and a few people asking me, "what does Nicoleinbold mean," I have decided to update and rewrite my answer. If you have followed me for any length of time I am sure you have noticed a change in my work. If you are more perceptive, I am sure you have noticed a change in what I share and what I say. With these changes, I have noticed an evolution in who I believe I am. I have grown, matured, softened, and been through many life changes since the beginning of Nicoleinbold, but I'll start at the beginning.

Coming up with a business name is not always easy. Just like naming a child, you go through many options before you decide and then change it again one more time…and again. Trying not to ask for too many opinions because that can always through a wrench into the mix.

Nicoleinbold came about when I was soul searching . "Who am I?" "What do I want to be remembered for?" "How do I want to help and serve others?" I started with the idea that I am me. Profound, I know. Many photographers use their own name as their business name, and I wanted to take that a step further. 

Sure this business is mine, but I serve others. What I create, produce, and share is ultimately not about me. Then I moved to the belief that I am the artist. While I depict others, it is my past, present, and future, my perspective that drives me to press my shutter button. I am showing how I see and feel about other peoples' lives. You can see it in how I compose my work and how I process and stylize my final images.

Your life - my perspective.

In explaining this recently to a friend, she pushed me further, "yeah, but why bold? I know you are creative, spontaneous, and silly - is that what you mean?" This is a great question, and one that embodies my life more than I ever realized when I chose my name almost 5 years ago.

The bold-ness, if you will, come from a few things which all boils down to my hopes, dreams, and even fears I feel for you, me, and our families. There is a bold-ness in saying I will take a piece of equipment and make a picture. There is more bold-ness involved when I feel strongly that when I make a picture I am sharing your love for life and your love for your family with you. The bold-ness continues to grow when I state that I highlight your love, connection, curiosity, and fears with every frame I capture.

I understand this can sound pretentious. Believe me when I say I feel a bit of shame for feeling so passionately about other's lives. This shame comes from feeling like I shouldn't care. From being told I shouldn't care most of my life. My current transformation is leaning into these "shoulds" and fully accepting my role as someone who loves my own family and wanting to preserve the love in others' families.

I have never considered myself an empath or highly sensitive person, until recently. It actually took a therapist to break this news, and then me telling a couple of my closest friends, who wholeheartedly agreed, to even accept this fact about myself. I feel emotions deeply. I perceive other's emotions very well and feel them deeply on top of my own. I share this because it is the most recent "ah-ha" moment about the name I have chosen for my business.

As I journey through life I have questioned my purpose. Most recently I have been unsure if I wanted to continue to pursue being a photographer. It wasn't until I was asked what my name means, what I hope to provide the people and families I work with that I became confident in my own legacy. After everything you have read it might not be a surprise to you, but it was to me. When I was asked this question these words tumbled from my mouth, "I want to transform vulnerability into confidence." Phew! That is bold.

So now what does that mean?

The goal I work to achieve with each shutter release is to highlight your humanity, your love, and your connection to those around you. It is vulnerable to ask someone into your life and to take your picture. Many people don't see it this way anymore because so many people own some type of camera, but it is scary. All of our insecurities can creep in. I hope that when I am asked into your life, into your home, that I can transform those insecurities into confidence. No matter if you are insecure in your body image, how you parent, what it looks like inside your home, I want to document your life right now. Show you it's beauty. Give you permission to be yourself. SEE yourself how others see you. How your children see you, and will remember you when they are older.

In owning this name I have created for my business, to include all the revelations there after, and having been present for many families, I can tell you with confidence that you are AMAZING. You are doing way better than you think you are. Your presence in this world is a gift. You are more than a mom, a dad, a wife or a husband. You are you, and your story matters.

It is simple. A clean statement. A concise and profound core value.

I am Nicoleinbold.

Nicoleinbold is documentary family photography with a promise to give you confidence serving Richmond, Virginia and available for travel.

my birth story

It has been two and a half years, and I'm finally getting to write a bit about my own birth story. In a lot of ways it was my catalyst to begin and truly enjoy the art of birth photography today! To start, I was speaking with a friend about a non-profit trying to gain more volunteers when I had the craziest dizzy spell. As in, I had to sit or I would have fallen. At that moment I knew something was up, but tried to put it out of mind. An easy task believe it or not, because not less than a week later a pipe burst in our home while we were working. A pipe on the second floor, in the bathroom. Water everywhere, it was raining in our living room just barely into our 7th month of home ownership. Seriously, I could not make this up. So we ended up in a hotel for about two weeks, where I still just didn't feel right. My husband and I are very open with each other, so of course we went to the store and bought one of each type of pregnancy test. I'm not kidding. We got back to our room and I took one. I know I should have waited until the morning, but whatever. We were there and anxious!

First test was a positive.

I didn't believe. I was pregnant. This state that you go through your adolescence being told is not great. Abstain, don't have babies. Naturally, I grabbed the test box and read the statistics about a possible false positive. Apparently that wasn't a thing, so I took all the rest of the pregnancy test over the course of 2 weeks. Finally, I reconciled the fact that I was growing a tiny parasite inside me and went to see the doctor to confirm and all that jazz. By jazz, I mean light blues. By this time we had moved into long term temporary housing, and I was sicker than a dog. I had to get IV fluids twice and was pretty much non-functioning!

For the expecting mamas reading this, always keep bags without holes and paper towels in the car. Also to be safe, travel in the right lane in case you need to pull over for what ever reason!!

Other than being super sick and quite tired I plugged along until one day, at 20 weeks, I walked into to work and had a crazy stitch in my side. I tried ignoring it, do you see a pattern (haha), until I couldn't breathe without concentrating. I was scared. Called the husband and said I'm coming home, we need to go to the doctor. Mind you, I worked an hour from our temporary home. I got in my car and called my mom. I could barely talk. I was in so much pain, she was trying to give me directions to the nearest hospital when I gave up and got on route 66 to just get home. Things went down hill and I had to pull over to call an ambulance. Scariest day of my life! I was passing a kidney stone, but at the time I could have sworn my baby and I were dying! Being a first time mom, it was the only conclusion!

After that eventful first and second trimester things were pretty smooth sailing. I picked up energy, felt much better, and we finally got to move back into our house at the beginning of my third trimester. I do not recommend moving at this time of your pregnancy, unless you have movers and un-packers! My husband was a saint!!

With all of that said, I was fairly type A throughout my pregnancy. Researched everything, watched, and read even more. I practiced how I would labor, hired a doula, and made sure I was with a practice that had a midwife. I wanted a natural labor. I did not want to find out the sex. We thought it was one of the last ways in life to truly surprise ourselves. Little did we know, now having a toddler! I also wanted a birth photographer. However given our crazy life circumstances at the time could not afford one. I was super grateful that my best friend, Anna Gibson, was willing to be on call and come document my journey to motherhood.

So on we went. Approached our due date, with family in town, and passed our due date. Our child decided to wait until she was good and ready to make her appearance! After nine days of waiting through prodromal labor, Miss Bit decided it was time, but still took her time. I woke up Monday morning with strong contractions. I had to call my early to work husband back home, and started walking to keep the contractions going. I was nervous, not sure about timing, my husband wasn't home, but I knew in my heart that baby would't come until the world was right. August 19th was such an amazing day. We walked a lot! We went to a nearby park and walked even more, found a four leaf clover and was congratulated by people passing us as I grimaced through yet another contraction. By late that night I had called my doula and photographer to come, I felt I was getting close. After the party arrived at my house we made our way to the hospital. The REAL party!

I feel like life has been a blur since this part. Yes, still 2.5 years later, it is still a blur. I greatly appreciated my midwife explaining every step of the process and answering all of my questions. I received the tiniest bit of pitocin which was enough to kick my laboring body into high gear. I labored in the bath tub until I felt like pushing then I got out and started pushing. I'm sure much more happened during this time, but like I said it was a blur of anticipation, contractions, and the drive to meet this stubborn human!

Looking back through my images I still get emotional! I love that my husband was with me 100% of the time. He held my hand and supported me through the entire process! I very surprisingly didn't curse throughout the entire event. Oh and I was a blubbering mess when Miss Bit joined us earth side. My husband told me her sex and we just wept. She was finally with us, in our arms!

with grit and grace,

Nicole

Honest Connection | My 2016 Focus

Honest-Connection-Family-Nicoleinbold.jpg

Honest connection can be so hard to come by out in the real world and even at home. I feel it is easier to be honest and not connect, rather then connect and not be so honest. Who or what am I talking about? You know when you meet someone new and you do the normal small chat and connecting, are you really being honest or just keeping things light? On the flip side, when you are with your best friend or spouse, you connect over just about everything but telling the truth can be a bit harder. You know the whole, "does this outfit make my butt look big?" scenario. Even with this situation it can be easier for your best friend to tell you to change than your spouse. Right? When, in the end, we knew the answer all along. No more of this, this year. While my goals are always to try and eat better and be more active and full of grace, this years' focus on honest connection will hold me accountable to myself. 2016 is the year I want to slow down a bit, and honestly connect with my self as a person, a person with needs and wants, but also with my husband and daughter. The balance of working, being an artist, a mom, a wife, or even just myself can be cumbersome some days. I can get out of whack a lot. Work stress can trump my artist life, or my child's needs can surpass my own. It happens, and I believe a lot of it is normal and natural. My goal and wish for myself is to truly listen and be honest with what I need, my body and soul, but to also connect with those around me. Small things like drinking tea from my favorite mug rather than a to-go cup, or holding my husbands hand while we grocery shop together. Those small connections, add up to a happier presence.

This includes my clients too. I feel like I am honest with each and every one of you, but I would love to connect with you and your families more. Lets have a play date, schedule a picnic, or just check in with each other. I truly hope to facilitate this more this year, as these things do not come naturally to me as a generally introverted person. I seriously want each and every one of my clients to become part of my extended family!

Cheers to love, living with intention, and honestly connecting with yourself and those around you!

Honest Connection Family Nicoleinbold
Honest Connection Family Nicoleinbold

be inspired. live boldly.

Nicole

Family and Business Busy Season

Observations of Parenthood

It is the season of giving, thankfulness, and love. However, when you're in the thick of business and family busy season it can feel like the opposite. I noticed myself getting cranky with my husband and Miss Bit last week. Then I got upset with myself. My bank of patience was depleted, and I was just not myself. Why was I being so cranky? I started make excuses and had to stop myself. The day job is stressful during the holidays; with last minute proposals and the creative job was bleeding into family time. In short, Long days are long, yet still feel not long enough. This was my fault. Have you ever heard someone say "you have time for what you make for." This was finally sinking in. I love my creative job, but at times I get ahead of myself. However, left unchecked, laundry was undone and sleep was pushed aside, eventually turning me into one hot curmudgeon.

This past Friday, after taking part in a wonderful online summit (thank you Rising Tide Society), I decided to set things down and focus on my family. I have a couple of sessions to edit and deliver, and I still pushed the laundry aside, I can't lie, but it will be there. My daughter on the other hand, is growing like a weed and my husband was starting to feel disconnected. This is not what I want. It is not why I was working so hard. So, we went park hopping, saw the local holiday parade, and watched movies (even if it was the same one over and over again. Anyone else have a toddler like this?). Family cuddle sessions are the best!! I struggled a bit, just being honest, but worked hard at not getting on my phone or social media in anyway.

By Sunday, I realized I needed to live the life I talk about with my clients. A huge part of my mission is to capture you where you are at now. Not in a few months, after you lose 5 pounds, or when your child grows their teeth back in. The everyday life, the seemingly mundane elements, is what I want to slow down. That is when we are real and authentic.

Getting vulnerable: I’m the heaviest I have ever been right now, I’m slower and don't have the best wardrobe right now. With that said, I have grown so much in the past year as a wife, mother, and business owner. Priorities are different for each person and each family. However perception is our only reality. If it won't matter when you retire, is not part of the 1000 piece puzzle we call the big picture, do a 180. Every day is a new day. I lost sight of this and am working on some changes I hope to share soon.

Yes, I would like to focus a bit more on me within this balancing act. I will get there. Moms, dads, you reading this,  prioritize progress over perfection!

Now for some images of Miss Bit from our park hopping adventures in the 70 degree December weather. #takeachillpilldecember

be inspired. live authentically.

Nicole

Home Birth in Leesburg, VA | Welcome to the World Miss C

"successful mothers are not the ones

that have never struggled. They are the ones

that never give up, despite the struggles."

-Sharon Jaynes

I was called into this home birth in Leesburg, VA last minute due to health issues with various parties involved and am so grateful I was able to be present for this mother. Mom is a birth doula herself and very active in the birthing community. She has an amazing, strong, and brave voice to speak up for what is right, normal, and natural. While she may not know it, she has taught me a lot of strength as a woman since I met her a year ago. She and her family are the culmination of what creating your own tribe is all about. She embodies the idea of community over competition in everyday mom life.

The beautiful Bataille family shows great strength and this little girl that has joined them has started her life by giving an amazing gift to her brother. Banking cord blood is a personal decision for each family, but with a recent diagnosis for her oldest brother they opted to partake in this gracious procedure. I definitely teared up when mom was thanking her new tiny human for her donation. Seriously all of the feels! If you would like to hear more and support the family please visit their Facebook Page!

Without further words to clutter this post about their home birth in Leesburg, VA, scroll through the images of this little one's sweet and peaceful home birth arrival.

be inspired. live boldly.

Nicole

P.S. I want to leave a note with this birth story. Capturing this new life coming into the world, even though this was not my first birth, is one of the first that truly made me feel like a professional. I was asked to cut the cord (politely declined insisting dad do the honors), and was able to really move freely and just be me and create art for this family. I am so in love with what I do! Enamored by the process, adore the healing nature of images, and seriously in awe of the "crazy sexy beautiful" strength of women in motherhood.